Unfair Truths v 1.55

Rage makes me sore all over

I can not sleep

I toss and turn and pound my pillow

My body actually is hot

A hot flash is very common... hot hot hot flash is most of my new normal...

This is like a fever, well it could be a fever...

Today from 5 am until 2 pm I am a total mess

I am calming down because I see the light...

I have tried to give it up to the Lord, several times I have squeezed my eyes tightly closed and realized I didn't let it go...

I am thinking too much, my brain doesn't shut off ...

I have been trying to find the number for my Marie.. and I looked again on the website and FINALLY found the number was there .

I could not "get it" because I was just wound too tight...

I made the call, I have an appt for Tuesday morning at 10 am..

I am asking for guidance - and the LORD did show me that number! - and the tools to handle my thought processes and my stoopid rage...

If I didn't know better I would be afraid I am having another meltdown...

That can't be it... not a meltdown...

I need some laughter, and singing, and fun...

And if I am doing it by myself that is FINE... because I am FINE

## one of my newest MS friends NANCY was in the hospital for horrible horrible pain, electric jolts running down her arms and numb from her knees to the bottom of her feet... how can you possibly walk if you can't feel your feet?

The electric jolts down her arms caused her to lose her GRIP... how can she walk if she can't even feel her feet or hold on to her CANE??? She can't hold a glass without dropping it..

The doctor put her in the hospital so she could have 5 days of IVSM.. in the 5 days she was there she had 20 BAGS of IVSM...

20

And Wednesday she was walking and talking and smiling...

I bumped into my friend Lori (muggle) and she gave me the big hug and smile and she says TAKE TIME FOR YOURSELF YOU NEED IT... get away!!

SHE is so smart...

I actually HATE that I see her and start babbling my problems

HATE HATE HATE...

so I will let the insurance PAY for someone to listen to me babble...

Gosh I need professional help... I am so weak... huh