Truths

eLisa has a very nice website http://www.extravagantgrace.net/

It has been very eye opening again that I am not able to let go, I am a control freek

TYPE A personality

When I went to my Marie today I showed her my blank page on my clip board, and told her I can not even write down how I am feeling, and what I think is going on -

because I am always wrong and it is always my fault

My Marie asked who said I was wrong.. well as you all know, my other half says I don't do it right, or it is my fault that we have no beans in the house..

I pause right here to laugh... cause I told her I enable him and that is MY FAULT again

If you do not raise a child (husband) to take responsibility for their actions, how can you expect them to just pull up their big boy pants and be RESPONSIBLE? says my Marie

Can't

So it is my fault...

I also found out some more TRUTHS that I should face along the way to the restructuring of the life we are leading.

Yes, we are room mates

We should respect each other enough to be aware of how the other is feeling,

not just health wise but the mental attitude as well.

If I am in a FUNK, do not ask what is WRONG, ask me if I want a COOKIE!

If he is in a FUNK, leave the room and let him sulk alone, because it will become MY FAULT!

Do not blow off ATTITUDE, but address it right away -

If YOU are doing something that is pissing me off I should ADDRESS IT! NOW.

Not in a manner that is accusing, but in a matter of fact way that is instructional...

Like, HONEY, you know that your nasty shoes keep leaving grass and chunkage of dirt on the carpet in front of your chair, can those nasty shoes be cleaned outside before they come in?

Do we need one of those shoe scrapers?

My favorite one I need to figure out a direct and immediate retort-

HONEY! Your sheets came out of the bedroom and threw themselves in the laundry basket!

Do you need some help putting fresh ones on???!!!

(instead of having to throw those away because they will not come clean?)

But he doesn't even think about changing HIS bed sheets, because he never had to do it.

When is it time to tell a spouse that sharing some of this stuff is expected?

When I became unable to do my SHARE of the outside work, being the runner for tools, getting on the roof to clean the gutters,

and all that stuff that I just QUIT doing because of the MS fatigue, it became pretty obvious that my spouse needed a helper of some kind...

and now he is in a funk because there are just too many jobs to be done that NEED someone with 2 good legs and a strong back... so he gets in a tizzy about not getting stuff DONE outside...

When I get in a tizzy about not getting the vacuuming done, he shruggs it off.. so I bought a roomba

And the bathrooms are totally disgusting, and we do not have the same ideas about just a quick wipe by the MESSEE and it would be good... cause the MESSEE doesnt see a mess...

So I now have another tool to get the bathroom clean and once a week in 10 minutes (I HOPE)

Same way for the kitchen counters and cabinet fronts...

SO the wet dogs shake off in the kitchen, and the tail that is wagging so joyfully is muddy and is smacking the dishwasher... In a few minutes and a squirt of this or that cleaner it can be tidy... but not CLEAN... know what I mean?

Since I am looking forward to his fishing this weekend I hope to take my time and do some of the stuff that IS IMPORTANT to me around the house... and maybe even watch a movie or make some art! I know he will be tired and go right to his room... and I will have had a productive day!

AND when he comes back I hope he brings some trout and I have some beans in the house!