It isn't tomorrow, because I just put down my salad of delish grilled chicken and ranch dressing, and could not remember what I was going to write about can't do it all
because I just screamed at my other half and slammed cupboards and threw thing around in the kitchen
I only asked if he wanted his grilled chicken on a salad or on a sandwich, blah blah blah
He asked for beans, I said um.. ok
I squat down and looked in the cupboard.. I did not see beans.
oh my LORD, please take me now, I felt the tension in my neck spread to my entire head, and then.... my eyes filled up with tears, and I put my head against the cupboard door.. tapped it lightly... bam bam bam... crap, I used all the beans I say out loud...
HE SAY: but you just went to the store and you don't get beans???
I SAY: well, I musta used them ... I didn't buy beans 'cause I thought I had a big can...
HE SAY: you thought? How come you never run out of YOGURT or Corn Chex? Do you ever run out of PeanutButter...
I squat down again and I am gently moving cans around, refried beans, refried beans, BIG can of refried beans... crap no baked beans...
Then he is making more cutting remarks... and a MIRACLE... truly I SEE the BIG CAN of BAKED BEANS... tucked behind the BIG CAN of soup..
But did I say thank you GOD first? no.. I stood up shaking and slammed that can down on the counter... my voice sounded like an alien being had taken over ....
DO YOU THINK I DON"T BUY BEANS ON PURPOSE???? SO THAT YOU CAN GIVE ME SH@T and CALL ME NAMES? SO THAT I CAN LISTEN TO YOU CRAB A$$ ABOUT IT FOR 24 HOURS?!!!
Every thing I touched I slammed... I marched his dinner out to serve him... sat it gently on his table (I didn't want to make a mess) he did not meet my eye...
I stopped crying, blessed the Lord for getting me out of this without having a stroke and took my dinner to my computer desk..
I hurt all over from my rage.. I am so so so tired of this
I was going to call my theripist MY MARIE, but couldn't find the number, and I will FIND IT
TOMORROW...
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